Salty
Mark Haskell SmithTurk Henry is an overweight, beer-swilling rock star married to a supermodel & rich beyond his wildest dreams. Right now his pampered paunch is plopped on the beach in Phuket, the last place a recovering sex addict should go on vacation, surrounded by topless groupies & luscious bar girls. But Turk’s struggles with monogamy pale beside a greater challenge when his wife is abducted by a group of renegade Thai pirates. The US government won’t help, & the law forbids Turk from paying the ransom. With life skills limited to playing bass & partying, Turk must now navigate the back alleys of Bangkok & the deadly jungles of Southeast Asia to save his wife—and he’s sweating bullets every step of the way.
Featuring skinflint tourists, a hypochondriac US government agent, a horny Australian commando, venal publicists, a nest of resourceful prostitutes, suitcases loaded with cash, an overeager “full service” personal assistant, & an urbane pirate with a fetish for alabaster skin, this is a hilariously entertaining, thoroughly debauched novel—with a happy finish.
°°°
This NPR “100 Best Beach Books Ever” pick “mix[es] laughs & satire like a cross between Carl Hiaasen & Ross Thomas” (Entertainment Weekly).
“Cheerfully skewer[s] Homeland Security, heavy metal, compromised Hollywood morals, American arrogance, fetishes & anything else worth taking a shot at.” — The Miami Herald
“The integrity of Smith’s skillfully guided 3rd person narrative is quite admirable. It is never manipulative in its execution & never condescending when dispelling stereotypes of pirates, rock stars, prostitutes, & The War on Terror... treating sex in moral & sane manner (no violence or mental instability soon after orgasm) ... — Walter Reichert, Entertainment World
°°°